Father Figure.
June 17, 2007 was a special day for Matt Clay—his first Father’s Day as a father. He and his wife had recently welcomed their oldest child, Sam, into their young family and to mark the occasion, Amber gave Matt an irreplaceable gift—a Bible to commemorate this new season. Perhaps becoming a dad should have been more difficult for Matt, since his biological dad wasn’t present during his childhood. But by God’s grace, Matt had found several role models—in particular, his father-in-law Eddie.
Culture often negatively portrays the relationship between in-laws, a necessary evil for marrying someone’s child. But that wasn’t the case for Matt and Eddie. “God put him in my life for a period of time to fill something that I needed—to see what it was like to be a man, a husband, and a father.” Eddie became a father figure for Matt, the two eventually doing everything together. “He was my best friend,” Matt says affectionately of his father-in-law, who died unexpectedly in 2012. Since Eddie’s passing, Matt’s often reflected on the conversations they’d have in Eddie’s truck. “We’d be riding in the truck and he’d always say, ‘You ever think about eternity?’ Every time we got in the truck he’d bring that topic up,” Matt says laughing. “He left us with a lot of reminders that all of this temporary stuff doesn’t matter. I think if he was here he would say, ‘Don’t worry about all that.’”
Investing in eternity by investing in the next generation. This blueprint, wonderfully displayed in Eddie pouring into his son-in-law’s life, now finds itself cropping up in Matt’s story again—only this time, he’s the father figure. When Matt’s son, Sam, couldn’t convince his school friends to attend their church’s youth ministry, Matt and Amber made a decision—they would start their own youth ministry. Named Red Barn Rally after the ministry’s location (a red barn in the Clay’s backyard), this bi-weekly meeting has grown to nineteen students. This ministry has only deepened Matt’s hunger for God’s Word. “There’s a reliance on it now,” he says, “more than anything I can remember.”
Decorating the inside covers of Matt’s Bible are dozens of name tags, each representing a week Matt’s children spent in church—each a reflection of Matt’s aim as a father. “For my wife,” he says, “it’s a testimony to the fact that we’re trying to raise them right.” Someday those three kids will inherit their Dad’s Bible, and Matt’s hope for that day is both simple and profound: “I hope it points them to God and not to what I did.” When asked why he wanted to restore rather than replace this particular Bible, Matt thoughtfully sighs before explaining: “It’s just not the same as the one you’ve cried in, sweat over, rejoiced with, held at funerals, held in front of those boys, used around the dinner table. It’s not that one.” Sixteen years have passed since his wife and firstborn gave him that one, and it’s had a far greater impact than he would have expected on that first Father’s Day. “I don’t think I could have imagined how much I would feel naked without it, how much I need it. I just want it back as soon as possible.”
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